Today I Talked With My Worried Persona

Today I had a well-meaning group of friends tell me to let go of my worry regarding financial matters. My first reaction was tenderness that friends would reach out to me in that way and my second reaction was anger.

I was angry because unlike Disney's defiant Elsa I don't know how to "let it go." I've honestly really struggled with this concept because it's hard for me to feel "letting go" inside of me as a physical and mental reality.

However, I brought out my Confidence Persona, my Courageous Persona, and my Play Persona and I said to them. Let's just play with this concept of "letting it go." "Maybe we can really do something with this." And they were all on board to try!

So I called out my Worried Persona and she was immediately there.....such a responder.....she was there just shaking all over from worry. I felt how stressed she was and my compassion welled up for her. I thanked her for coming and once again like I do with so many of my negatively-perceived personas I authentically apologized for trying to hide her under the carpet for most of my life. I called in my Love Persona and the Love Persona came in and embraced the Worried Persona for quite a while and I must admit I felt such relief that I shed a few tears.

I realized that for a long time my Worried Persona had been a part of my PERSONAL FINANCIAL PROJECT. We all have a personal financial project (and a work project, and a perception project, and a sexual project, etc.) because we all have to deal with finances in some form or another. I realized though that at this point my Worried Persona no longer needed to be a part of my financial project. Before I had needed her to fill some sort of place in that project because I had grown up in a home where worry and fear were constant companions of our family finances and I wanted to fit into that family but now I no longer had a need for my Worried Persona to play a part or be a leading persona on my personal financial project.

Soooo.....I told my Worried Persona how much I appreciated her and that she had done a great job and that she had always been trying to protect me even though things had gotten out of balance. I told her she could now take a vacation and drink an icy pina colada.

Funny thing, as I was telling her this, a few moments later I had this picture appear in my mind of my Worried Persona as a beautiful woman in a purple bikini getting on an airplane to go somewhere exciting and exotic. She was no longer shaking all over.

She looked beautiful and I told her so.