The "Man of the Hour"

Have you ever found yourself while resting, staring off into space, or taking a walk, talking to someone, who does in fact exist in your life, but who is not  physically in the room or space that you occupy?

I do this a lot. Psychologists might call it "role play" and to a certain degree I'm sure they would say it's healthy.

I think it's healthy as well, though I'm guessing I do this more than your average homo sapien. whether that's healthy or not.....who knows?

I enjoy having conversations with people who I know who are not actually there. It gives me a sense of space and a sense of practice.....space and practice.....two things that I enjoy immensely.

The Man or Woman of the Hour
I notice that as I progress through my life I often choose one person (usually a man and usually....interestingly enough.....a romantic or sexual interest for me) to be the main person I have these imaginary conversations with. I have conversations with other people (especially angry conversations as I struggle showing my anger in the real world) but mostly with my "Man of the Hour."

I never used to question or analyze the fact that I was having imaginary conversations with a man who more often than not I really didn't know very well at all in the real world. However, for whatever reason, I often feel that I have known these men well enough in soul that I WANT to talk with them.


The "Man of the Hour" generally changes every 2-3 years and lately, with my current "Man of the Hour" I've analyzed the situation more deeply. Here's some questions I've asked myself?

1) Why this man?
2) What are the characteristics of this man that make me want to be "close" to him even though I'm not physically close with him?
3) Does he actually represent some kind of personal nemesis I am trying to overcome?
4) Is he a persona that would be healthy for me to embody and become conscious of in some way?

[[[WATCH THIS VIDEO ABOUT EMBODYING A PERSONA AND DOING IT SLOWLY AND CONSCIOUSLY AND WITH PERSONAL AUTHENTICITY]]]

Labeling: A "Sure Fire" Way to Keep Yourself OFF the Road of Progress

In the Personified Physique Method there are what are called catalysts to personal progress. These catalysts include non-judgment (acceptance), humility, paradox, ease, and enjoyment.

[[[LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PPM AND HOW IT CAN HELP YOU MAXIMIZE YOUR PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES]]]

In the PPM there are also what are called detriments or "roadblocks" to personal progress. These detriments include judgment, blame, and for this entry's spotlight, labeling.

In our lives we know that there are differences among us. That much is obvious. However, in addition to understanding that we all have differences it is important to keep in mind that we are actually all the same.

How can this be?

[[[LEARN THE LESSONS THAT YOUR LABELING PERSONA HAS TO OFFER - VIEW THIS VIDEO]]]

If you follow the road of learning, the road of spirituality, the road of religion, or even the road of intellectualism to some extent it becomes apparent that there is a unity to all things. Can we always put that unity into words? Can we always describe it? Perhaps not. However, any journey to a "higher anything" seems to lead to a sense of "All things are possible," and if all things are possible and you're choosing to take the "all things are possible" road with the PPM then what is the use of labeling?

Here are the purposes of labeling:

1) To differentiate between one thing and another thing
2) To create a sense of separateness
3) To create a platform on which something or someone can be analyzed
4) To point toward "good" or "evil"

Here are the purposes non-labeling:

1) To show similarities between one thing and another thing
2) To create a sense of wholeness or sameness
3) To create a platform on which something or someone can be accepted
4) To point toward one whole

You can see based on the purposes of labeling and non-labeling that there is an inherent sense of "higher thinking" or "higher feeling," involved with non-labeling.

To really maximize the PPM experience labeling simply does NOT work. How can you access or even be aware of certain personas within you if you refuse to admit that you have it in you to be exactly like that persona? Sure, maybe you can imagine your devilish persona, your thief persona, your teasing persona, but you feel that you can never imagine your murderous persona or your dictatorial persona. You feel that they simply do NOT exist. For persons who cannot imagine specific personas, the PPM says that there is more work to be done. You don't have to be murderous or dictatorial to take advantage of the lessons that those personas can provide and often they are the BIGGEST lessons because to you they seem so incredibly awful.

Why Would I Invest in the Personified Physique?

If I were a person other than myself (which is difficult to imagine) I think I would be attracted to and invest in the Personified Physique for the following reasons:

1) "Turn that Frown Upside Down"
When I was younger my Mom used to sing a song to me and my siblings about turning our frown upside down. She used to show us a drawing of a face that looked sad but by some kind of artistic magic looked happy when you turned the drawing upside down. I remember thinking how intelligent it was to literally turn that frown upside down. The Personified Physique is to a great degree about transforming the negative emotions and energies in our lives into something creative, fun, and productive for our own personal lives.

[[[WATCH VIDEO ABOUT TRANSFORMING NEGATIVITY WITH NEGATIVE PERSONAS]]]

2) Enjoyment and Ease
Two of the principles of the Personified Physique are practicing the method with a sense of enjoyment and ease in all things!

Ease because it's difficult to reveal your truest and best self if it seems like a task that only God or people like Mohatma Ghandhi seem to be capable of and enjoyment because our culture is adept at suffering and understanding what it's like to "have it hard," but doesn't seem to understand that it takes actual skills to practice the art of enjoyment and to do it in all things!

[[[WATCH VIDEO ABOUT LEARNING THE ART OF ENJOYMENT WITH THE POSITIVE PERSONAS]]]

3) Easy and Physical Fitness
Again, to reiterate on step #2. It's easy. It's made of four steps and all four steps together require about 30-40 minutes from the practitioner.

Also the Personified Physique Method always includes segments and guided workouts for increased physical fitness. Physical fitness isn't always easy to focus on but it gets a lot easier if you can pair it with mental and what many would call spiritual goals.

[[[WATCH VIDEO ABOUT EASE BEING ESSENTIAL IN EACH OF THE FOUR STEPS]]]

4) Self-Awareness
Above all the Personified Physique is designed so that the practitioner can introspect and dive into self-awareness without pain and suffering. If you've ever tried the practic of deep introspection and self-awareness you know how painful and confusing the process can become. The Personified Physique is designed to help you see negativity and positivity through a new lens and to alter current perceptions so that these processes are revealed as useful and enjoyable.

[[[WATCH VIDEO ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-AWARENESS IN THE PPM]]]

5) Fun
Once you start meeting your personas and learn how to let the judgment of your self and the personas walk another road that isn't yours it's easy to have fun with both the positive and the negative personas. They are such characters and have so much to say and to offer to you. The negative personas are master teachers and the positive personas are master enjoyers and pleasure seekers. You'll love them all!

[[[LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PERSONIFIED PHYSIQUE AND THE PERSONA VIDEOS THAT CAN HELP YOU TO MORE CLEARLY AND MORE AUTHENTICALLY PRESENT YOURSELF TO THE WORLD]]]]

Why Do You Call This Method the "Personified Physique Method"?

The Personified Physique Method is certainly an interesting name for a method that is designed to release the best authentic presentation from any given person as they move throughout his/her daily lives.

I chose this name because 1) it sounds good with the "P" alliteration but most importantly because 2) personas (represented in the word "Personified") and the physical body (represented by the word "Physique") are the two main tools that everyone has access to via the imagination and the physicality of our human bodies.

These tools, via the PPM, allow us to release---with control---the aspects of ourselves that we desire most to bless the world with and also allow us to transofrm our negative energies and personas into positive teachers and experiences.

In a society that I believe overvalues external technologies, the PPM demonstrates that your mind, body and soul (however you view your soul) are truly your greatest assets.

[[[LEARN WHAT THE PPM IS AND HOW IT WORKS AS YOU WATCH THESE TWO VIDEOS!!!!!!!]]]]]]

How Do I Unconditionally Love Myself?

There are probably many ways to look at loving yourself unconditionally. To love yourself I suggest two things:

1) Try practicing the "Love Persona" video and the PPM. [[[sEE THIS VIDEO WHICH INTRODUCES THE LOVE PERSONA PRACTICE]]]

2) Try re-considering your current beliefs. For example:

Belief #1: I believe that there is good and evil and that if I have anything to do with the evil I am not worth love.

I am not going to debate the existence of good or evil but I will say that if you believe that you aren't worth love because you've done something "evil" or "bad" then what is the point of unconditional love? It may be hard to love yourself if you've hit someone in the face but it is possible. (note: I am certainly not recommending that you hit someone in the face to try this out.) It is unfortunate how often many of us don't love ourselves because some rule somewhere says that 40% of our actions (or whatever amount) are bad.

Belief #2: You're not worth the time or the money.

Believe it or not there's plenty of time and money to go around. In this life almost everything relates to time and money. Time and money may not be the most important things in life but they are both good measurements for what you value most. If you've been taught through early modeling that spending money or time on yourself is selfish then it's going to be pretty damn hard to value yourself. How can you change this belief? Try this: spend more money and time on yourself based on items and experiences that come to mind when you think of words like "joy," "happiness," and "success" and see what happens. If you feel good about your decisions....keep going! You're probably on the right track!

Belief #3: Nobody loves you.

Really? Nobody loves you. Okay. What is love? Spending time with you? What is love? Sincere listening? What is love? Kindness? What is love? A warm meal? Do these things for yourself according to your own definition of love and then reevaluate how your perceptions regarding others. It's very likely they will begin to change and that most people are ready to love you at all moments if you're ready to treat yourself according to your own standards of what love is.

Belief #4: Making excuses gets me "off the hook."

Making excuses for why you are currently uncomfortable will keep you "on the hook" of discomfort. If you want to be loved making excuses for why you are not loved will never get you there. It's weird at first but don't make excuses. I can't think of one instance in which they are really valuable to a conversation and are never inspiring.

Can you really change your beliefs?

Of course you can change your beliefs. Beliefs are a framework for your actions (whether your actions are in line with the beliefs or are working against them) that tell you how to feel about yourself.

To change your beliefs you simply live, consider beliefs that are not yours and consider them again and again until they make so much sense for your life that they become your default belief.  Then if you are the type of person that generally keeps his/her actions in line with your beliefs your life sill explode into something new and probably much more desirable to you!

The evolution of beliefs is quite constant though there may be some beliefs that you never change in this lifetime.

[[[LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PPM - A METHOD DESIGNED TO REVEAL YOUR INNER YOU]]]

What Happens When I Raise My Level of Self-Awareness?

The Personified Physique Method (PPM) is designed to raise and heighten self-awareness but what does that mean? If your self-awarenesss begins to expand what can you expect to feel, see, etc?

The PPM doesn't guarantee that specific "things" will happen as you participate in the method but there do seem to be some general trends among those describing a heightened sense of self-awareness.

1) A Sense of Mission
You will begin to develop a sense of mission. If you don't already have a sense of mission, with self-awareness it is common to begin to have a deep sense of what your life is all about....in the deeper sense. Generally this mission will be a concept or activity that you are deeply in love with and perhaps didn't realize you were in love with it until you began to practice the PPM or other forms of mind/body work such as yoga, pilates, dance, etc.

[[[WATCH THIS VIDEO TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PPM AND HOW IT CAN HELP YOU RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF SELF-AWARENESS]]]

2) A Sense of Focus
One of the most interesting things about life is that we often don't know what to do with it. We spend a lot of time doing things to fill time instead of creating a life that is highly original to each one of us. With a heightened sense of self-awareness it is common to feel an increased sense of focus and moving toward something desirable. If you've ever been without a sense of focus you know how uncomfortable and disorienting it can be to feel the opposite of focus, which is confusion.

3) You Accept All Your Feelings
You begin to understand that your negative feelings and desires don't say anything negative about you. They begin to CONTRIBUTE to your life as your greatest teachers. The PPM respects the negative personas and energies as teachers and wise counselors.

4) You "Know" That You Deserve More
As your level of self-awareness blooms, it is very common to feel (or even have a sense of knowing) that you have sold yourself short in the past when you didn't have that self-awareness. A self-aware person rarely wants to spend his/her life working in a cubicle doing a job that they are not passionate about. A self-aware person generally "sees" that s/he deserves more and actively seeks out whatever that "more" may represent for him/her.

5) You Do What You Love
A self-aware person often knows that treating himself/herself to great food, beautiful clothing, and doing things they love to do is NOT SELFISH. It is very difficult to explain this to someone who has been taught that buying these things on a regular basis is selfish but it is likely that as your self-awareness is raised that you will do these things regularly knowing that they will feed you and others around you simultaneously.

The Four Steps of the Personified Physique Method

If you've ever brought one of your personas into the spotlight of your life's stage then you know how simple the Personified Physique Method is. In fact, it's designed to be the easiest possible path to releasing your next personified star.

Here's the four steps of the Personified Physique Method....

Step #1: Imagination
Imagination opens our minds and hearts to limitless possibilities and also lends itself to starting completely from scratch. With imagination there are no goods, bads, wrongs or rights. Anything goes which is a great place to start.

During this step we'll review the basic stories/metaphors of the PPM and you'll imagine them in your own metaphors or styles.

Step #2: Visualization
Visualization is a lot like imagination but perhaps connotes a more vivid experience.....an experience that seems almost like a vision.

In this step you will "bring forth" the persona of your choice (i.e, the Sexy Persona, the Lucky Persona, the Happy Persona, the Creative Persona, etc.) and you'll have a conversation with him/her. You will ask him/her why s/he is not currently in the spotlight and you'll sense his/her answer. Your "sense" may be hearing, feeling or visualizing the answer. Whatever s/he answers is what you should do to bring him/her into the spotlight. If you are afraid to do it then do the easiest possible version. This action should be performed while you are alone.

Step #3: Physical Exercise, Poses
Allowing  your physical body to express what your mind is thinking or what you intentions may be (even if it's symbolic) is an extremely powerful process. During this step you will follow my exercise program for each specific persona and improv (if you like) your own physicality. (Improv is not required. 25 minutes of a specific exercise program will be provided.)

During or after this step (especially if you are eating clean and organic food without a lot of meat or alcohol or processed sugar) you will begin to notice a heightened sense of self-awareness. [[[PUT LINK HERE TO ARTICLE ABOUT SELF-AWARENESS]]]]]

Step #4: Performance
Performance is when you bring your new level of self-awareness and perform it for other people in the real world. People get nervous about this step but in this method this is the easiest step. It it's not easy you have to use your mental capacities to make it easier. [[[[[INSERT TIPS TO MAKING YOUR ppm PERFORMANCES EASIER!!!!!]]]]]

[[[[[WATCH THIS VIDEO ABOUT WHAT THE PERSONIFIED PHYSIQUE IS ALL ABOUT, HOW IT CAN HELP YOU SHOW YOUR BEST SELF TO THE WORLD AND HOW IT CAN HELP YOU GET PHYSICALLY FIT AS A BYPRODUCT!]]]]]]

How Do I Handle a Relapse of Self Hate?

Hating oneself is an interesting proposition AND an interesting experience.

With the PPM (Personified Physique Method) we first look at the lesson that a negative persona teaches us. This lesson is something entirely personal and probably won't be the same for any two people.

My Hateful Persona
Here's what I learned from my Hateful Persona. To me, my Hateful Persona is the persona that says "NO!" the loudest. It says "NO!" in a way that leaves no doubt that my Hateful Persona is pushing everything and everyone out. "NO!" she says and makes everything around her black.

I learn from her that if I hate myself I am saying "NO!" to myself in every way. I am literally blocking myself out. It can be weird to consider that you are saying "NO!" to yourself in essential ways and that you are allowing deep personal unhappiness into your life. It is also strange to imagine that you would ever say "NO!" to your body, your mind, and/or your entire self, but this is indeed what my Hateful Persona revealed to me.

What could I (or you) possibly learn from this? One possible lesson is that we can learn (in a harsh way granted) how it feels to say "NO!" and block things or people out. It is a valuable skill to learn to say "no" and to put up walls and boundaries in some situations. Of course, maybe it would be nice to involve our Diplomatic Persona a bit more to balance our lives more carefuly but our Hateful Persona teaches us in a dramatic fashion, which is oftentimes preferable (in my opinion) to the dry sensibility and caution of diplomacy.

Dramatic Lessons and Experience
Dramatic lessons such as those provided by my Hateful Persona have a high level of emotion attached to them. High levels of emotion often make our experiences in life more memorable and thus often more impactful. Inside of some of us there may be a desire that craves the deep impact of high levels of emotion. Perhaps you are one of those people. Perhaps you need to act, sing, dance, create, or live in silent hate....it's all dramatic and maybe that's what you need. Granted, acting or singing is a far more pleasant experience than hate but drama doesn't care whether the drama is positive or negative; it just wants drama.

Try to imagine what this experience of hate would be like if you were primarily utilizing your Diplomatic Persona, your Stern Persona, or your Ungrateful Persona instead of your Hateful Persona. How would your personal experience be different? Pay attention to the energy you feel as you consider each of these personas inside of yourself. It may be that your Hateful Persona is the perfect persona to give you the drama of hateful experience and blocking everything out. Talk to your Hateful Persona and yell at it if you will.

Ask it why the hell it has arrived. And it will scream the fuck back at you.

How Do I Practice Self-Love?

I truly feel that I personally have learned a few valuable lessons about loving myself. I feel qualified to share these lessons because I didn't used to love myself and now I feel that I do.

What changed?

I Changed the Way I Listened to the Radio
Before I loved myself, I would often scoff at love songs that played on the radio. A wise friend once told me however that it was important that I believed someone could love me. Her wise words made me start to leave those "corny" love songs turned up loud. I would sing to them and imagine that someone somewhere would write those exact (or similar) words for me. After I made this practice a habit I started to realize that a very big part of myself really does believe that I deserve to be loved by someone who would write beautiful words....inspired by moi.

I Changed the Way I Viewed Myself
I put a photo of me as a two-year-old in my bedroom where I could see it before I go to sleep at night. Sometimes I take the photo and give it a kiss. I try to imagine how my life would have been if I was loving that child...if I were the parent of that younger version of myself. I try to imagine how different and how happy I would have been if I had parented myself. I realize when I look at that photo that the little girl in the picture has no faults. She is wonderful so why would I think any less of myself just because I've lived a few more years than she has?

I Changed What I Do
I love to dance more than anything. I used to tell myself I couldn't afford dancing lessons and that I was too old for dance. Now I say "Fuck that!" and I DANCE MY HEART OUT! There is something about doing what you love that ends up with you loving yourself.


I Don't Get Caught Up in the Philosophy, Psychology, or Science of Things
I used to worry about what was right and who was saying the right things. I used to worry about the facts and whether or not I was adhering to them. I used to worry about the metaphysics of things. Now, I view myself as a creator. I make the rules and even if I don't, who cares?! When I read or write in my journal I can go beneath the surface but otherwise I just love myself in simple ways.

Health
Taking care of your physical health and well being is a wonderful way to show you love yourself and one of the most difficult. If you can do this you will also see big opportunities for advancement in the mental and spiritual realms as well. Remember to get the right amount of sleep for you. You probably already know what that amount of time is. Dream time is a wonderful place to be yourself and to be free!

The First Question to Ask Yourself When You Do Something "Wrong", "Stupid", "Horrible", "Selfish"

All of us veer off the path that we'd like to travel. We make what we ourselves consider "mistakes." However, even if we know we are going to make mistakes sometime in the future, sometimes the emotion that comes with making a mistake can be intense and uncomfortable. Sometimes it's that exact emotion that can keep us stuck in old patterns that aren't good for our development and for the support of our own personal goals.....let alone our happiness and how we walk and thrive in life.

When you do somthing that you yourself don't feel good about and you start to feel emotions that are unpleasant try asking yourself the following?

1) Even though I've done this thing, am I still worth loving?
2) If someone else had made this mistake would I still think s/he was worth loving?
3) Do I believe that all people deserve love no matter what they've done? (This doesn't mean you have to excuse behavior that is destructive or allow it into your life....it's just a realization that life deserves love.)
4) If my child made this mistake would I still love him/her just as much?
5) Can I love myself as if I were my own child?

Remember, questions are tools. Questions act as the tools that open valuable windows (literally energetic windows open up new channels when you ask a question) of understanding that can change our lives and our life paths forever.

You are worth certainly worth loving. Practice love, especially with yourself.

Your Last Fight

When was your last fight or disagreement with someone? Yesterday? Three years ago? If you could describe what was going on energetically between you and your "opponent" how would you describe it.

In the Personified Physique Method we're constantly discussing the ability to be aware of what is going on underneath the surface. If you're screaming at someone of course you're angry. That's OBVIOUS. If they aren't taking responsibility for paying a bill or are consistently criticizing you then those behaviors are OBVIOUS as well....at least from your point of view.

What however might not be so obvious? Are you shifting in the way that you perceive the world? Are you noticing thoughts and behaviors that haven't emerged from you before? Do you remember a time you would have agreed with your "opponent" but no longer "see" the issues at hand as s/he does? Are you looking at the issues from your "opponent's point of view? Could it be that your new "self" is shifting the energy around you and you're rocking the boat?

Who knows?

It's important to remember that fights, disagreements, and friction in general aren't generally about bills, or criticisms. They are more about the energetic patterns we are accepting into our lives.

The Physicality of Confidence - Exploring Stacked Containers and Puppet People

In the Personified Physique Method the exploration of the Confident Persona is common. Confidence, like Courage, allows people to move forward through doors that they otherwise would have missed without the development of these personas.

As you begin to explore the Confident Persona you'll probably notice the emphasis on a sense of "sureness" or "surety." One of the aspects of a Confident Persona is that they are sure or seem very sure of whatever it is they are seeking after his/her life.

The Physicality of Being Sure
There are various physicalities that are generally associated with "sureness" or confidence. One of the physical aspects of being sure is having a firm physical foundation. Without a firm (yet flexible) foundation it's difficult to build on.

Stacking Your Containers and Finding the Puppet in You
Good posture and a firm foundation involves 1) the alignment of the physical body so that the feet, hips, rib cage and head can sit directly over one another and balance on one "plumb line." This imaginary line (or center line) can also be imagined from the head down as if the plumb line originated from above and held the body in suspension much as a puppet might hang from the hand that suspends it.

It is important to find the balance between stacking your containers from the feet upwards and in allowing a suspension from the head downward. This allows for oppositional energies to flow through the body and oppositional energies are necessary not only in exercise theory but in all theory.

Focusing on these energies will allow the body more space to align and stand tall. You'll naturall have a look of confidence and sureness by making a habit of the continual alignment/grounding/suspension of the body.

[[[[[INSERT THE MARKETING VIDEO FOR THE ppm OR FOR THE CONFIDENT PERSONA ITSELF]]]

Ugly vs. Sexy - Verbal Affirmations are Practical Affirmations

It continually amazes me how much words and especially verbal declarations can affect people in general.

Yesterday my ballroom dance teachers and I were working on a rumba routine and I suggested we try the routine while I said out loud, "I am ugly."

As soon as I said "I am ugly," I felt horrible. I do have a high level of body sensitivity but I think most people would feel a bit shorter, heavier and other sorts of feelings that work against movement.

After that I suggested I try the same routine while saying "I am sexy." The affect was quite dramatic and surprising even for me. I became taller and MUCH more focused. My teacher was surprised when I performed the hockey stick (a movement taught in the International Latin dance technique) with much more spunk and style. It was perhaps the best hockey stick I had ever "performed" with my body and I wasn't even thinking about the movement. Instead, I was saying "I am sexy." I joked with my teacher that I felt like going out and hunting myself a man....which frankly, didn't feel like much of a joke at the time. Saying you're sexy really works in a practical way. It's not just an exercise that can help you pretend that you're sexy. It actually builds your sexiness which, of course, can't help but shine through your body!

Verbal affirmations are highly powerful especially if you say them about yourself. People sometimes feel dishonest when saying what they don't believe themselves to be but the truth is that any characteristic you can see in someone else is something that you recognize because you have some level of understanding of that chracteristic already inside of YOU.

In the Personified Physique Method we use verbal affirmations in preparation for our real-time actions which are always performed, according to the method, with ease and enjoyment.

One Way to Block the Full Expression of a Persona

One of the goals of the Personified Physique Method is the full (or at least nearly full) expression of a feeling/emotion. Many counselors and psychologists would call this expression the "processing of an emotion."

The PPM provides many ways in which you can become aware of your emotions, accept those emotions, shift those emotions (with paradigm work), express the emotion in a personalized way, and get physically aligned and fit at the same time!

There are, of course, many "blocks" that can surface during the PPM process. This isn't to discourage anyone from expressing their emotions fully or from utilizing the PPM especially since these blocks are fairly easy to "get around" once you know how to spot them.

One of these blocks is insecurity. Fundamentally insecurity is a "shakiness" within a personal system and usually expresses itself in the body and in the mind which are the mental and physical systems of our being. These systems reflect each other.

In the mind insecurity sounds like this:

---What is wrong with me?
---Why doesn't s/he seem to like me?
---Why am I not good enough for this ________________?
---I'm not as smart as she is.
---I'm not as good looking as he is.
---Why does everything bad seem to happen to me?

All of these thoughts (which can zip through our minds at such a rapid speed sometimes we have to slow down to begin to hear them) have an inherent imbalance to them.

Consider this. All of the thoughts above are questions. Questions are inherently unstable propositions. The phrase "I don't know" can be a secure statement but in the case of the questions above there is an obvious shakiness to the queries.

Stand on one leg. Begin to ask yourself the questions above and see what happens. Do you feel secure? Try this with your eyes closed.

Notice the nature of insecurity in the physical being of other people who seem insecure to you. They are often shaky, jittery (even their eyes can be shaky), and they often talk quickly or seek for unreasonable control. There emotions are also very shaky and they can experience many sharp emotions within a short period of time that for them are very unpleasant.

Now, try balancing with open eyes and with closed eyes on one leg (preferably the same leg if it's not too tired while you say the following:

---Nothing is wrong with me. She may have different opinions but there is nothing wrong with me. I deserve love.
---I sense a strange energy between me and her. It's probably not good timing for us to communicate but later on it might be.
---I am good enough for ____________________.
---I'm smart and intelligent. I notice things that others don't seem to notice.
---I'm good looking. I like the way that I look.
---Why do so many good things happen to me?

And finally, try saying this: "It's not my job to make other people happy. It's not my job to make other people happy. It's not my job to make other people happy. I have faith that they have the strength, courage, and communicative abilities to grown in their own happiness." Say this several times and see how it feels to you when you say it. If you can say it in solitude (perhaps in your car) even better. You'll feel the energy of these words and your intentions as you say them. Words are powerful. They have history and they also have a present with you.

Gratitude
Also, remember, that one way to open the doors of full personal expression is to show gratitude. So ask yourself one more time, "Why do so many good things happen to me?"