He was right. I've been patronizing (literally) this chiropractor since 2012 and I'm sort of an emotional-heart-on-my-sleeve type of person so he knows when I feel like punching someone.
"Who do you feel like punching today Marci?" he asked politely.
Actually he didn't ask that question though I can imagine him doing so. Instead he began his neuro-emotional technique which I am always impressed with because it works so quickly. It basically functions with the chiropractor asking my body questions with a series of muscle testing to confirm the answers. This time the emotion came back to an incident with my father.
After talking briefly over the incident and asking a few more questions he asked me to say "I Deserve Respect." It was just a mantra and just three words and I began to speak it in a practical way but could feel the wave of tears coming over me.
And then the tears burst through. Wow...I deserve respect. For some reason Aretha's song had never meant so much to me. It was in that moment that I realized I truly needed to be treated with more deference, more understanding and from the perspective of personal boundaries....my Dad not only needed his own personal boundaries (to protect himself) but also needed boundaries when it came to dealing with his children.Anyway, I left the chiropractor's office in tears and with a bottle of some kind of supplement in hand (still can't remember what it was) and I haven't stopped thinking about the mantra "I deserve respect," ever since. I don't know what I should do with my newfound wealth of understanding so it's sitting there and I'm holding a space for it so it can stay there and eat, sleep, party and whatever else a good "wealth of understanding" does in its spare time.
As for the Personified Physique the respectful persona is someone we can observe outside of us for clues as to how s/he carries herself/himself and also a persona or aspect that exists within us. I think of this persona taking a step backward when s/he knows herself/himself is getting close to something that could potentially cause someone pain. We're generally aware of when we're trying to cause pain.....if we're even expending the least bit of energy to be aware and so the respectful persona is an easy one to develop if we're practicing awareness.
How to Develop Greater Awareness and Carry It With You
Developing awareness can be scary at first because some of us have a fear of being imperfect but you'll probably find that if this is the case with you you're going to realize that being aware provides more benefits than pitfalls including attracting people who trust you more readily. To develop awareness here are two easy things you can do:
1) For one week record yourself in conversation throughout all your encounters with others. You can buy those little spy recorders (yes, some of them are pens) and carry them around. Then, over the next couple of months listen to how you talk to others and consider your motives. Were you ever trying to invoke negative feelings in a person you were conversing with (jealousy, insecurity, inferiority, fear, etc.) If so, why were you doing that and is there another option? If you can identify your motives in these conversations you are doing a great job already in developing awareness.
2) Try writing a fake journal entry from the point of view of someone who knows you (a friend, acquaintance, enemy, etc.). This works best if you are writing from the point of view of someone who is not fond of you. Write an entire page and see if you don't realize that you can actually see his/her point of view. Then, the next time you encounter this person if things start to get heated try to cool things down by saying "I can see your point of view. Thanks for sharing that with me. I still tend to believe this but......" and then afterward if you feel anger (which is pretty inevitable, take up boxing. Boxing can do wonders for anger release.
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